A star-gazer's ball

To a sky nearest you. (except in parts of Africa, Europe, and all of Asia) (Sorry)

The late night and early morning sky of December the 13th and 14th will be host to the Geminids meteor shower. Come out to see the streaks of light illuminating the dark canvas and be a spectator to "the best meteor shower of the year". Supposedly. It will be cold when witnessing such events (especially when traveling to distant destinations away from competing light) so make sure to dress and pack appropriately, bring your significant other to cuddle up close to, or attend with the/a family and gather around the campfire telling stories while sipping on some thermos hot chocolate waiting for the festivities to begin (but hold that bladder so as to have something to put out that fire when the falling of debris commences), or, if you are a lone-goer, bring a cat or two along for company and warmth setting up that telescope just right to not miss a second of those night time flashes. Take pictures to show off to friends who decided to stay the night in too.

And as if more was needed, check out the total lunar eclipse coming our (parts of Europe, Africa, South America, and all of North America) way on December 20th starting at 10:27 p.m. Moutain Central time. Or wait another four years. It will last for 72 minutes and completely freak out your eyes. Bring a camera.

Have an Apricot.

APRICOT — A Short Film by Ben Briand from Moonwalk Films on Vimeo.

NaNoWriMo

I love acronyms. Although, I am not sure if this is actually a true acronym or not. This is National Novel Writing Month (aka November). Pick up a pen a get in the game. This is the month you have been waiting for. Yes, you. The month were you finally start that book you have been thinking about since kindergarden, or start collecting together all your poems, or just start keeping a journal. The title says "Novel Writing", but I am a little more liberal with the terminology than others would be. The goal is to write a 175-page/50,000 word masterpiece/not entirely laughable piece of literature. As they put it:

"Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down."

But I do not constrict to a novel. Some people dream in stories, others in poems, some dance with numbers, with others only seeing in pictures. Whatever it is that you come through, this is the month to do it. If you'd like. It is up to you. But it is nice just to see if you can and not worry about the result and just focus on thhe process. Do not think just write.

Writing is a fantastic tool anyways to clear the mind and see ideas/situations better. It like sending many traffic cops up into your mind and directing where you wish to put all your ideas, thoughts, words, doubts, hopes, worries, fears, passions, and no doubt many other thing.

I had a teacher who told me about writing, "You have to get all the bad words/stories out of the way before you can get to the good one. And I put the number of bad words to be about a million." So write. If not, just to rack up more words for your one million total. Do not matter if it is shitty or not, I do not we are ones to fairly judge our own works in the first place. It is not really up to us to decide if it is good or not. We just, sort of, give them away to the world to do with as they please in hopes of them liking and accepting them. The rest is semantics.

Students are taught of the authors intention and syboloism in the stories read and written. Of how and why he or she used a certain fruit in a certain situation or why a certain name was chosen. After having a friend read one my stories she began to explain me what my story meant. She asked me if she was right and I responded with an "I don't know. I only wrote it."

A story was told to me of a man who was a professional disk shooter (excuse me for forgetting the actual name). Everyday (everyday), for ten years (3,650 days), he would drive out to the shooting range and practice. Everyday. He said,"I went out there every day for ten years and then you know what happened? Then, I started getting good." It took him everyday for ten years before he began "getting good." Be patient with yourself. You have time. And plenty of it. Do not rush. Take your time. And write. Keep writing. And when you think there is nothing left, that there is no more to be said, continue on. See what else is there. For there lies the essential. And try not to think. There is no room for thinking when writing 50,000 words in a month.

"The lifes of people is like riding a bike..."

I am not sure if there is anything better than a fantastically good breakfast. Today I find myself welcoming the sunrise with a mug filled with a strawberry-banana-blackberry (marion berries?)-apple juice smoothie accompanied by some delicious raisin nut, banana french toast topped with some hypnotizing maple syrup with a two moms in the raw bar to finish me off. Breakfast of the gods. There is nothing like a good breakfast to help you better put on your love letting face and prepare your body for the party that will take place in the day ahead.

I am pretty sure he made this cd specifically for me.

When I am down, life tends to throw me little pick-me-ups (which I am extraordinarily greatful for). When I am not sure if I am on the right path or unsure of my direction, life sends me little messages that coaxes (sp?) me to continue. It is like it is saying, "Yes, that maybe so, but go on. Conitne. Show me more. Show me what more you have. I am here to help. Do not fear. I am here and everything is fine. More than fine. Perfect. So, please, do not stop. If anything, do not stop. Just keep pedaling. See all there is to see and keep asking for more. Do not fear the mistakes. I planned those too. Continue loving and you will see. But, I implore you, not to stop. This is the way."

There is more to type, but the day beckons me away. If you want the cd, let me know.

In pedaling,
anthony

Vote

Heading to the polls you now decide who it is you wish to see in office; who it is that will run your local courts, decide where the money in your children's school system is to be spent, what taxes will or will not be. Who will you choose to be the leader of your community; to be the people that will lead us from an unsustainable, seperated way of surviving to a far more efficient, earth renewing, people and envirnment first way of living that will bring people together? You know that future you have where there is no longer a haze of brown floating over your city, or where two people who love one another are allowed to have the same protection of marriage as everyone else and are no longer treated like second class citizens regardless of whether they are the same gender, or where you see farmers beggining to spring up all over our country making an amount of money that someone who is feeding an entire country deserves and meats no longer being processed and injected with hormones in a large factory, instead they roam free and arrive at our dinner tables to nourish and not poison us; where money is seen, most often. going to positive, community-minded businesses that will do nothing but improve the impact it has with all people involved; where we lead the world out of a petroleum based economy by example; where we are the shining light and helping hand reaching out to other countries in need? It will happen when you vote for it.

- anthony

p.s. I am quite sure I improperly used all semicolons seen above. I apologize.

Spread it like peanut butter

Having these guys on my screen has been the best part of turning on my computer for the past two years. I cannot resist checking up on the good news and sneaking over to their site every time I turn on the internet. They are the best things to happen to computers since the monitor. Superforest raises my spirits and inspires to no end.

Their humanifesto is a global message of positivity, recited above by people from across the world. Please, do yourself a favor (because you deserve it) and head over to their website to check them out.

If you like what you see, please, tell and share with as many people as you know.

Hear and back

It was raining this morning harder than it has my entire short stay here in Pau with the wind knocking my window protectors back and forth causing them to rattle through my morning time meditation. Living in Las Vegas, one does not think about the rain very often. It rains every six to thirty months depending on the moods of the rain gods. There is not a high need for anything waterproof where I live so leaving to another place (especially to one where it rains a lot) I sometime forget certain situations that are possible elsewhere. I do not think to myself, "All right, when it rains while I am riding a bike, what will I wear to keep dry?" It is more similar to, "Dude, sweet, I get ride a bike." Planning has never been a strong suit of mine. But, luckily, my host family gives me an outfit to use that makes me look like a Swiss ski ranger out looking for an unfortunate skier who needs help.


(On a side note: I have the nicest host family ever concieved. So much so that the word "host" before family seems uneccassary.)


Last night I decided to leave. There has been this lump in me. A dam that has been blocking my flow. It has been visible to me, looking myself in the mirror, I know when I am my most attractive and when I am not a center of love, emitting my light of loviness.


I think people know, if you listen and use your eyes, the truth; what is true of them and when it is something you want or something you do not; when you are just trying to convince yourself and when there is no need for convincing.


Riding my bike this morning in the rain with the wind in my face, I thought about what it meant; if the weather/universe/(place divine object here) was trying to stop me from making a horrible mistake or if I was just being told, "Doing what you want to do will be hard, but continue on." I chose the later. My plane leaves Sunday.

- anthony

The fortune-teller

"I have seen the future."

"Have you?" She asked smiling, turning her head, and raising her eyebrows.

"Yes," he said smiling, "and we look quite lovely."

Hit you with some figatry

Do you ever make a plan, than not follow through on it? Just making a plan and not having it be. Growing up, I was (slash still am) blessed with a fantastic childhood filled with opportunities that far too many others, not only children but, people in general do not have. I was able to attend school, learn to read and write, have access to clean, sanitary drinking water, I knew both my parents, I was not put under forced labor, I was not beaten or sexually scarred. Telling thousands of other children about my upbringing would probably put them in a state of disbelieve. They would think that my story was one of fiction and dreams because they have never even heard of such a life.

I am here in France. I am not here for work nor am I running from the law, in any sense (I am not sure in how many senses one can run from the law). I am here for my schooling. For college. Something that was expected of me, to go to college. While for others, it only exists as a far off vision that even just the idea is hard to grasp. In my host family's backyard (which is lovely (both the family and the yard)), I laid on the ground by a fig tree that I just picked figs from and wondered, why me? Why am I so fortunate, when far too many others are not? And what am I doing with this bountiful fortune? Am I using it to better everything I see and know? Shit, I lost thread. I cannot, for anything, remember what my next train of thought was (odd expression when you actually type it). Oh, that is right. I have always been one to believe that something or someone is only as strong as its weakest part (though now that I type that I am not sure if I believe it completely). Looking at the civilizations and people of the world and seeing all our strengths and weaknesses, we have the potential to be so much more than what we are just by reaching our hand to offer some help. There is so much more this world could be and the crazy thing is is that we can make it this way. It needs a group effort behind it, but we are becoming of an age when we realize that this is our heaven. Try to imagine everything that would be in your "heaven" and then realize that it is already here. We are the creators of own world and we can shape in any way we can.

Plucking figs from the fig tree out back, I came to see how plentiful our world is. My basket was full of figs while there was still more to be picked. The others left unpicked I left for the birds and worms and gave them back to the earth for some great nutrients for our soil. We ate our share of the figs and then, after dinner, my host father went across the street to give our neighbors a pep in their night by way of the purple fruit meant for gods. There is a Ghandi qoute (there are many actually) (I think this is Ghandi): "There is enough in the world for everyone's need, but not for everyone's greed."

This post did not turn out how I wanted it to. Not sure if the point I wanted to make became tangled in the overhead wires or made it safely to its destination. But it is fine. In fact it is more than fine, it is perfect. I just reverted to plan be.

Maleablly,
anthony

From Fance

My mind is a maze of contradictory statements confused by the new language and scenic view over coming my senses. Even my palatte is taking a hit. The most dangerous lies of all are ones that one tells to him/her self. For only you can make believe (or not believe) in something. The mind is a clever tool that even fool ourselces at times. We make up that we miss someone or someone place and instigate that feeling because we believe that we did not choose that particular feeling; it came about without us knowing about it or consciously deciding to feel that way; we say, "the feeling chose me", "I had no control of it", or "It is there so I must believe it" when there is no such thing. There is always a choice to be made when it comes to a state of mind, a state of being. You choose who you are being through your thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions, and attitudes and with these you shape your world and how you effect everyone elses.

I am racing back and forth between different parts of my body trying to find my equilibrium point for I seemed to have misplaced it. I feel like a lost toy who was put on the wrong shelf or I have two left shoes on. These examples above are, despite the universality (made up word) of the tenses (not sure if that is the correct word(pronouns, maybe?)), it is the story I make up currently about myself. I write it down and share it because through this window of mine, others can look in and take in all they see, learning all they read. I am just a continued part of a dialogue that has been taking place long before I was born and will continue long past my extraordinarily short time with the temporary vessel I was given.

Is being alive not enough? People talk of purpose of life, but is life not purposeful enough by itself? You are here. Despite all the odds and the (almost) infinitly far off chance, your eyes are open and shut and read this world. There is no need for much else. Be happy with yourself today. For you are awesome just being here. Make everyday a celebration. Enjoy the sun.

From l'hexagon,

anthony

Two months too long

I have a fear of my words and the power they have. The irritractable nature of them; the knowing of once they are out there, they can never be taken back, they perminitely rest in space and are taken on by all those who come into contact. There are no words that the world passes by becomed deemed insignificant cast into a shadow of oblivion and make no difference to any body for even the most mundane of conversations, the most futile of words, the everyday common conversations and the great insightful speeches of great orators throughout history are all thrown into the same pot.

There is no way, in this life, to not have an effect; to not change, shape, misshape, construy (sp?(how embarrassing)), convince, antagonize, or motivate. Just being is enough. Even if you fell silent since birth and did not let a word escape from the, no doubt, tempting mouth, that, in itself, still says something. The only way not leave a mark or blemmish upon the surface is not even to exist in the first place for nothing can ever be entirely destroyed. Words read, even by a single person, trickle down through the respective ages and eras, having presidence in conversations spanning centuries over ever land traversed by people.

Nothing is seperate. It is all connected, from the sky you saw this morning to the color of your coffee, the thought you had of the women who passed you by to the flipping through of mail, from writing a journal to ordering a meal, from talking to a lover to betraying a trust, nothing is singular. It all whirls together to effect every aspect of itself.

I am not sure if I am taking this blog serious as a platform for transparency and positivity. There are things that I hide, things I believe I am not ready, yet, to show, even to my most closest of friends, and, especially to family members (whom do not even know about this platform I choose to spout out my words). Instead, I use this posting as a station to empty my mind of the things that float around, in hopes of changing that into something better one day, but I am moving far now and wish to return.

There are no rules to blogging, I realize. There are no qualifications to met in order to have such a powerful tool at one's disposal. Any person with a computer/cell phone and an internet connection can make there words public for anyone to read which promote the best of ideas, but also spread the worst. There is a responsibility that lie in words. In the dialogue that is all words because no words are seperate from each other and each one holds just as much power as the next. There are no "soft" words; words that bounce off the world and drift into space unaccounted for do not existed. Words can be softly spoken, especially to a lover or in a moment of compassion, but words on their own are as hard as the anvil in which the blacksmith bangs his hammer on.

There can never be a record for all words spoken. Even if it became half the worlds job to write ever phrase, expression, dialogue, catch phrase, motto, title, and whisper ever spoken, billions of more words would slip through the recorded page of words that pass through our minds and whispered in silence in a moent of weakness or grave need of help. But no word is ever forgotten or completely erased. It is held somewhere unknown, in the mind where there are rows of records unaccessable to us, but perhaps, show themselves in dreams and visions of the night reminding us of things long ago thoght to be lost forever, but, really, just resting, sitting, waiting, collecting dust until it is brought up once again for no other reason than just to show you it is still there. Still, it is quickly forgotten in those first waking moments when dreams become disillusioned and the cousciousness takes back over. Dreams become no more than a vague, blurred darkness that is undistinguishable from the other nights, however every so often there is a dream that we cannot shake; a dream that comes and does not leave; instead it repeats itself like a skipping record reoccuring almost nightly and leaving deep impressiond on your wakeful hours. You change diet, habits but nothing stops this dream from repeating itself. Susan Water-Eller writes a fantastic blog where she has this fantastic tid bit of dream knowledge. Check it out.

Out of words. Off to bed.

Typing responsibly (hopefully),
anthony

Mmmmm......Bacon.

Sir Bacon (not sure what he did to acfcomplish a self-portrait, but lovely ruffles)

I could ask for no bra. The stubble is fine.


My guitar sits in a corner in the room i am in. It is no more than 3 meters from me (starting the American SI unit trend), but I feel far from it. Well, I did, earlier this night. Music has always come extraordinarlly easy to me. Her and I have always had a great love life (especially sexually), but sometimes I have problems feeling her up. I seem distance from it. It seems to have gone some place else temporarilly. It always returns, but I expect it to go one day and that will be the last time a song will be able to flow through me. It a ridiculous fear I know, but still it crosses my mind. It is a fear. That god will take back his gift one day seeing that I have not been using as I should and give it to somebody who will. I better start using it more. A lot more. But I have other gifts, and I konw better.

I think about the year of 2012 and wonder if the world we inhabit will cave in on itself and this blue dot with the only living organisms known to us in this universe will cease to be. I think that if this does happen than why am I wasting my time with not doing what I want? t is a trap to think like that, though. It puts in a place of death instead life which stints the imagination and joy. Do not become caught up in death. It is so much better to become caught up in life.

Always ask yourself, "what next?" for you are never done. And you will never be "there." That place that you want to get. You will never reach it. Hopefully. You're not there, yet. If you were than what would be the point in continuing? If you did get there, then that would be it and the hertz would come to get you. Just keep moving, man. When you reach a point when you think you have done "it," and you have reached "there," ask yourself,"now what?" And go from there. We all have do something till our time passes. Just go crazy with it.

Think about everything that everything has been through in order for your existence. Trillions of years ago, something (very vague) happened and the universe was create. In that, was Earth. Billions of more years later a barren wasteland filled with mountains and volcanoes gave way to water and a gaseous sky gave way to sunlight. Billions of more years and a singled-cell organism makes it's way into the game. Still, Millions of more year, this single-celled population comes together to make a multi-celled, multi functioning organism that begins to swim around in the oceans while big continent-shaped plates begin moving and seperating. This amiable amphibians make their way to land and begin to adapt and fly and crawl and grow until the earth is filled with an umpteenth amount of animals all originating from the same beginning. One extinction follows the next along with numerous mother earth menopauses featuring heat waves and ice ages. When things settle down, it happens, upon pure chance (maybe), that a certain race of furry filled (perhaps coming from the see) begin to develop a larger cranium radius. This race of homo sapiens begin a reproduce and evolve from sticks and stone wheels to bicycles and solar panels. Then, through a numerous amounts of interactions and pure chances bring two people together and out of millions of sperm cells, one finds the egg and you are born. Through all the unlikely hood of your existance, but there you sit (or stand) on earth. With people that love, food that nourishes and sun that baths you. And you complain about traffic, or get angry when a white shirt becomes a faded pink when accidentally thrown in with a red friends, then say how unlucky you are. Never forget how lucky you are. How cool you are. How fortunate you are. How kick-ass and how much you are a bad motha-fucker.

Cosmically,
anthony

Freaking out.

Ever Freak Out for no apparent reason? The reason might be crystal clear to you, but it is never spoken out loud to a friend or someone close to you. It only festers inside and brews turning your insides from a sanctuary to a prison. You do not speak of what is Freaking you out because once spoken out loud, you immediately realize "Why am I causing myself to 'Freak Out' over this?"

On a side note, quotations work differently in England. In England's English, single quotations appear first, and doubles are used if a quote occurs inside a quote. Funny system. Looks much nice than ours on paper though. Makes more sense. I cammot wait till the world decides to adopt a global language. Maybe we already do through emotions. When you think about life on other planets, what language do you imagine them to speak? Do you see them running around their planet identifying the other inhabitants of their world (who appear exactly the same as each other, save for minor differences (mostly physical)) as beings who are not them but of some different race? Do you think they would see us as American? Or English? Or African? Or Catalian? Or Cherokee? My vote goes towards the human view. And why not? We all look the same (more or less). So why not rally behing this unifying device that we can so easily bestow upon another planet in our mind, but not put into our own home and own community. Stop seeing race or sexual orientation. Political stance or job description. Stop seeing "disabilities" or past.

"We are much more alike than we are different." - John Irsfeld

I saw this woman today who was in a wheelchair. She had childlike clothing on and even noticed some decorated socks. She looked so young. While she was facing towards me, I waved at her as if she was twelve with a big smile on my face. The look I was returned made me see how I was treating her. As if she was child (though not in the way I prefer). What we show the world is a product of our thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions, and attitudes. It is how we effect the world. How are you using those to be a world shaker?

How big are you being?

I love stringed instruments. And I am a fool for cellos. If you have two x chromosones and a cello in hand then I am fallen.

I have taken far too long to update this outward looking window to the world. I write this blog to share. That by my sharing and living transparency I make the world into widespread community where everyone else knows what everyone else is up to. Where people in India ask people in Canada for a cup of sugar in which Canada happily complies with the request.

Growing up, I was never confident in my writing skills. I made up that my words on paper were no eloquent and that I had no gift for the pen. My strong suits more lied in math, science, and music rather than English. This lasted for far too long a time. Instead of writing or reading, I sat and played video games, along with most others of my generation. My logic came to be that "I have no talent in writing so would I ever want to be that." My Creative writing teacher landed this quote on me by Gustave Flaubert (must love a good name):
"Talent is a long patient"
I sit now having gone through two years of college having first been a "vocal performance major" and then a "mechanical engineering" major with my favorite class coming to be fiction creative writing class.

Like most college students, I have no idea. But every idea at the same time. It is wonderful. I am not even sure if college is right for me.
"Life is organic. It is not linear" (Thank you Sir Ken Robinson (a video to be added at the end of this post))
I mean there is so much to be and I become caught up within this reality and find my mind moving lightyears ahead to the future at time warp speeds anf forget all that is around me know. Take time out of your day, everyday, every morning even if you prefer, to look around and just see. That is all see. See and hear. The senses are the most lovely of gifts, do not forget about them.

My choice has been to cover my light most of my life. To put it under a blanket and to show it only to a few. I have spent far to many years thinking of the "what if's" instead of the here; so many occasions where I don't dance or sing because my mind duvs it "uncool".
"Don't let your mind stop you from having a good time." - Jason Mraz (I am quoting fool tonight)

Please, do not keep your light a secret. Show it to all. Dance if your feet wish and sing loudest. This is my light.

So, have been wanting to put a few videos up for a while, but will not bombard you with all of them at once.

Check out this cool cat converse about education. Going to school and having a family who is "middle-class" with "blue-collared" jobs school become the biggest door imaginable for opportunity to pass through. And it is. Do not find me wrong, but, no doubt, a change is needed. Looking back, I would not change my education for anything. It was supurb (big high-fives go to CCSD and Clark High School). But the school system is a cookie cutter. And some students are not even dough at all. The are a cucumber or a banana. Or almond or tea leaf. It does not work for everyone. Having been a part of the school system for fourteen years, I know its many strengths and crucial weaknesses. It has to be looked upon in a completely different way and a new idea of schooling must be put into effect. The world is moving from a dying planet with its murderers being its inhabitants to a healing world with its doctors allowing the immune ecosytem to work as it was meant to again. There is a global shift occuring from a selfish mind-set to a compassionate, sharing mind-set. When having an army that is twenty size the time of anothers and consuming more energy than some one else is no longer a strength but a weakness. Progress is not seen in dollars but in something else I can think of currently. (Place positive phrase here). There is shift occuring in the world with schooling, no doubt, changing with it.



And to see this fine chaps first install, check it out here

To your mother.

Tonight the skies are filled with clouds as I listen to what Mother Earth has to say. She cracks lightning down and pours some water to nourish those on her body. Tornadoes spin nearby warning those to not come near it or, maybe, it is just the sky wanting to feel up the ground. They do not get together too often. Only where the horizon meets most often. But today they are all over each other like the people living in the apartment above me.

As She pauses, rains, and cracks down, my other mother snores and fills her room with nitrogen. It is difficult. Family. It should be the easiest, but it is not. Do you ever feel like you are not seen? Like the person they are trying to talk to and the person you are are to seperate people? Me too. But I am just making it to be that way. I know. Taking care of the Earth means taking care of all that is around you. Especially family.

I am grateful for such an awesome mother. For her love. For her cooking. For her flatulences. High five mom (when you wake up).

And other Mom, put me to sleep with your amazing light show and soft, grumbling lulaby. Still Mother knows best. Maybe.