Look at the Sky and Smile

Reading the diary of a young girl makes me feel behind in the times. Anne Frank had more wisdom at age thirteen than I do at twenty. Her insights have more candor and eloquence than I have ever written or spoken. But I have always been a late bloomer.

There is something I always hold on to, something I dare not give away. I am not sure what it is but I never share it. Forgive me for the ambiguity if you wish to know more, but so do I. I have never had that close, intimate relationship so sought after with friends, lovers, family members. I am a lone traveler traversing and dancing. A companion who understands me completely has escaped me completely. But do not mistake me to be complaining, everyone must take that long walk alone and must continue moving. Always moving. Moving forward. One step then the another. One foot then the other. But it can get lonely.

I connect with parts of people though. People of different times, of the living and the not, I steal from them ideas, words, expressions, movements, gestures, gazes, habits, quirks, and carry them with me to pass on to someone else. People whom I have never met and might not ever meet, I take what they give and am grateful.

There is no coherency to my thoughts. Do you ever find yourself in a lull or stuck in a funk (what a cool word)? I have been lazy recently, shirk the duties that I owe to myself. Taking care of one's self is a continual task. The brain can become out of shape just like the body. Habits begin to form and thoughts become rutted into a certain path that, most likely, was not even consciously chosen. One must be careful and always keep mentally in shape. Always challenge one's self and keep on the pursuit; comtinue to go after that greatness and submerge yourself in the work you deem worthy. Do not settle. Follow that intuition. Follow that curiousity. They are on to something.

Honestly, why do I write here? My words will pass into oblivion just like thousands upon millions upon billion and (most definitely) upon trillion of other words from people much wiser, graceful, determined than I. Only the very few have there words saved and read by generations after and even those will not last. But we continue on, knowing that one day all the doors we open will one day close and become nothing. But there is today.

- ar